The other day I had a bit of a rant at Mark about how people of our parents' generation roll their eyes every time you complain about any pregnancy niggle or how tired you are or anything about how tough it is to raise children. They say things like 'it's as if she's the first person in the world to have a baby' or 'I had to do it with six of you' / 'and I did it without a husband there' etc. But any time you ask for advice, encouragement or support they say things like 'it doesn't last forever' or 'you need to take it one day at a time' or my pet hate 'hang in there' so it can feel a bit like you
are the first person in the world to have a baby, it's not as if there's someone there to tell you how to do it, and everyone who
has done it is resting on their laurels because the slog is
finally over for them. I think it might be a little bit to do with a fear that giving advice can seem pushy or overbearing or presumptious. I've found since having Caleb that the best thing to do with advice is lap every last bit up, then dump what you don't need, and hold on to the gems that come your way. I've borrowed SO many books and watched The House of Tiny Tearaways etc. and we're already
doing it all! So here I say PLEASE GIVE ME ADVICE! I don't mind if you suggest the blindingly obvious, I don't care if you've never even touched a baby in your life, but doesn't it take a whole village to raise a child or something?
It's clear to most people who read our blog that we haven't slept a whole lot since having Elodie, obviously, but the worst thing is that Caleb stopped sleeping through the night in July, and since he's been in his 'big bed' that means that
no-one sleeps. This week they got the flu, and I'm afraid I have run out of sympathy, I'm
exhausted already and I have no physical or emotional reserves to draw on for the constant back-rubbing etc. Tell me, what do you do when you just feel like you can't do it anymore? How do you stop a Thomas from screaming his lungs out every time he disagrees with you? How do you get a 2 year old to sleep through the night again? How do you make the time to give your second child any attention? What will I do when Mark goes back to work?
We celebrated New Year by repeatedly settling our coughing, screaming, children back to sleep between 7pm and 1am before crashing ourselves, I'm not sure what time Caleb came and joined us. That sums up 2005 for us. I want 2006 to be better!
*Disclaimer* I ought to stress that our parents aren't meanies when we unburden ourselves to them, but they have been guilty of the vague kind of encouragements that don't really give you anything to hold on to!
